The Secret Gay Warehouse: A Morality Tale

When we first set up this blog we opted to allow the random ads to show up here. Little did we know how doggone funny they would be. Here's the latest one that showed up: (okay, I just LOOOVE the hungover look Obama has in this picture) (and don't they know that Obama is against same-sex marriage and for civil unions?) (but I digress) Oh. It gets better. Here is the site it took us to: http://traditionalvalues.us/am_morality_letter.html?pid=g3&emx=igrat777@gmail.com&fn=basil&ln=parilyn&z=92801&mid=18 And if for some reason that link does not work, let us highlight some of the finer points of this site. Even though we answered every question in a very "gay-friendly" way, we were still directed to this page. It starts out like this:

I would like to thank you for completing the American Morality survey. The Radical Homosexuals claim you and other pro-family Americans actually now support same-sex marriage, special job preferences for homosexuals and promotion of the homosexual lifestyle in schools. Now that I have your completed survey, we can prove to Congress that the American people do not support the Homosexual Agenda. I know you understand just how serious this issue is. You see, the Radical Homosexuals are storming through Washington demanding passage of their agenda. And with the passage of Thought Control last year, they say NOW is the time to push their perverse "life-style" on every man, women and child in America. And they have been insisting YOU actually support them.

I know you won't believe this, but seriously, it gets even better. He then went on to recount his horrifying encounter with (duhn duhn duhn!) THE RADICAL HOMOSEXUALS!!! Turn down the lights, friends, and hold tight to a loved one (of the opposite sex of course) and let me share with you his terrifying tale of espionage and danger.....

One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I'd heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press. Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, "Delgaudio what are you doing here?" Dozens of men began moving toward me. I'd been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, "This time Delgaudio we can't lose." Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(gasp)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I am truly baffled as to how this man is not a New York Times Bestselling author! Well, needless to say, after hearing that harrowing tale of mocking and mayhem I rushed to get my wallet. I had to donate - and quick!!! THE RADICAL HOMOSEXUALS could win! (not quite sure what they could win, but by gum, whatever happens they must not win!) So please dear friends, lovers of morality, and all that is holy in the world - won't you join with me in stopping this monstrous Homosexual Agenda? But first... can anyone tell me what it is? Which brings me to this week's "Why?" question. Heck, this site was so awesome that we were able to come up with 2 "Why?" questions:

• WHY is this man driving to deserted warehouses on stormy nights to see if "something was up"? (Does this strike anyone else as slightly.. well... gay?)

• And WHY were there no lesbians in this story? What, no dykes on the docks? No women in the warehouse? No laughing lesbians lifting literature?

Headfromassectomy.... Could It Be???

Could it be possible? Has California finally had its head removed from its ass and is now going to respect the civil rights of ALL people? Today, a San Francisco Federal Judge agreed with Judge Vaughn Walker's decision last week and refused to let the prejudices of a group of people become a legalized prejudice. The ban on same-sex marriage in the state of California has been overturned by this Federal Judge and experts are saying that this issue will most likely end up at the Supreme Court. Congratulations to all those that fought (and are still fighting) tirelessly to keep people's civil rights in tact, and kudos to both of these judges! EQUALITY IS NOT UP FOR POPULAR VOTE. You can't strip away people's basic civil rights just because a lot of other people agree with you. If you could then women would still not be allowed to vote and black people would still be segregated. Heck, up until the 1980's "popular vote" was still against interracial marriage. I love this post in the comments section of a CNN article this morning:

"Dear heterosexual married couples; I apologize the way my relationship of the past 12 years has caused so many of you to cheat, lie, beat and divorce one another. I'm sorry that my relationship has resulted in marriage related game shows and TV Shows like "Who wants to marry a millionaire?", "Who wants to marry my dad?", "The Bachelorette" and "The Bachelor". I'm so so sorry for causing the infinite number of 24 hour Vegas weddings and grooms dressed as elvis. I'm sorry for the many thousands of "traditional" marriages that will implode on August 18th. I'm also sorry that so many of your children will spontaneously turn gay as I marry my partner of 12 years on August 18th."

This person makes an excellent point, which leads to my "Why?" question of the day:

• Why do people think that homosexual marriage will negatively affect heterosexual marriage?

Someone please enlighten me. 2 men in Vermont getting married in no way impacts your heterosexual marriage in New Mexico. NOTHING changes for you. Your taxes don't go up (or down); you're not forced to get a divorce; your kids are not instantly "turned gay"; and the fabric of society does not rip apart and crumble into fine dust. It's already been tested... gay marriage is legal in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Vermont, and Iowa . The world hasn't fallen apart yet. Maybe I just missed it??

Eugezilla Asks...?

Eugezilla said... I am posting my question here even though it appears to be a comment on the previous question. This is the only place on this site that accepts text entry. WHY do you both choose to define yourselves (second characteristic) by what you don't believe in? Wouldn't it be just as effective to define yourselves by what you don't drive or where you do not live? And as a follow up question... WHY don't you have a, 'ASK QUESTION HERE" link on your page?